Getting Organised

We have enjoyed a fantastic summer this year which was a great start to motivate me to start my "mid life crisis challenge" I felt most areas of my life needed a good overhaul,like most parents, especially us single ones, you can often feel like your just spinning plates to get by each day and you forget about enjoying the time you have with your family & friends, because your constantly processing information,Did I pay that bill? Did I sign Tommy's planner? Did I sign the school trip letter? are the PE kits washed? what is for dinner tonight? remember to call the garage and book the car in for an MOT...you know the deal, we all have it & that is in addition to an 8 hour working day. I felt like all of that had been my life for the last 17 years of being a parent and given i only have one child now to be responsible for day - day it was time I got a grip (a real hard strangling grip) and get more organised. As well as my "mid life crisis" being the motivation behind all these changes, Im also about to embark on a new challenge with my business. Towards the end of 2014/beginning of 2015 (and just in time for my 40th) I am starting a new business with my eldest son buying & renovating/developing properties. This has been our plan for a number of years and i guess its getting closer now and its time I put a plan into action. It coincides perfectly with my "new beginnings attitude for my 40's" and I want to literally clear the decks and get rid of ALL unnecessary "dead wood" that I am currently carrying and go into my forties and my new business with a lot less to think and worry about. HOME LIFE I started with my home life, getting more organised with my youngest son and his schooling, small things like making sure his planner is signed , making sure his lunch money account has money on it on a sunday night, to avoid the usual monday lunch time call of "Mum, I have no money on my lunch account" and im usually not at home and in the middle of the supermarket frantically entering card details on my tiny screen on my IPhone making sure he can eat. I also wanted to have a better routine of cleaning & household chores & actually making time in my diary for it (this satisfies my OCD) . I have been renovating my house for the last 3 years and have a few bits and pieces to get finished, again this needed to be completed before our new business starts and so needed to be made more of a priority and planned out rather than "il do it one day "job. The biggest and last major job to be done was the replacement widows and doors, they are 20 years old now and wooden frames, so high maintenance, ugly, not very heat efficient, a lot of the sealed units have "blown" now and it was becoming a much needed job to do and is part of my cutting energy bills strategy as they are equally astronomical, so rather than use money from my savings pot I'm using surplus monthly money from my budget so its been a slower process, I started with the two worst doors, which were draughty and rotten, my patio doors in my kitchen and the old garage door in my new second lounge, these were immediately warmer and looked the part so that in itself motivated me to carry on, Iv now ordered all but 1 window (leaving the largest bay window for next time) to be fitted in January (taking advantage of a discount for january)Now the heating is on I can already feel the benefits of the two changed, & already have the heating on much less that last year so I think the cost of installing them will come back in the reduction of my energy bills. The last part of the installation will be front & back doors and my large bay window which is scheduled for April. Finally the house will be up to standard and complete. Food was also a big issue, never planning food properly and having waste (one of my big bug bears) spending too much because I became a "lazy " shopper having too much ready made things, for example veg (pre chopped/peeled) etc,ready prepared mash, just wasteful & expensive but has become a lazy habit. I have now developed a regular routine for my supermarket delivery, I do it on a tuesday for delivery each friday, I pre plan meals for the week, I keep a good stocked pantry cupboard of essentials, I spot the deals and get extra things when on offer (but only things i need and use) i have already got into better habits of using my freezer and planning ahead is essential for that.I have no waste, Iv decreased my weekly spend by 50% by doing this. I dont have traffic, queues,trolley bashing and a nice young man brings it straight to my kitchen, perfect! FINANCES This was the biggest challenge and took a lot of thought and planning to completely re train my brain (& my children's). I was forced to leave home at 16 just after leaving school and I only had a part time shop job which I had done whilst at school, I moved to a "grotty" bedsit in an undesirable part of Crewe, my rent was £36 per week and my wages were £32, so i was already in debt before I started. However I quickly increased my hours and made that my permanent job for the short term, my boyfriends mum did my washing each week (which was amusing watching my boyfriend with my washing bag up his jacket each week and riding home on his bike to his mum) I visited both my boyfriends family and mine regularly to get fed, this lasted a few weeks and I soon told myself this is it, Iv got my freedom & my independence and should make the most of it. I very quickly, wanted my "bedsit" to be home (given it was), so I decorated it and bought some new bedding, I had some furniture given to me by family and I was very happy there for over a year, I then had the opportunity to move downstairs into a proper flat, I did the same there but thats where my problem began of wanting to live in a comfortable and nice environment and wanting it now, but couldn't afford it all in one go, I didn't go mad, again I had hand me down furniture where possible, I did buy a new three piece suite (in pink velour) from the catalogue (i know) any debt i had and of course it was debt as It was credit, was all manageable and affordable, although it never occurred to me what if i lost my job or was ill and couldn't afford to make the payments any more.... I bought my first house at 20 which was a large 3 bed semi, it felt like a mansion after my flats, but I had spent 4 happy years over there with my friends and had the best times and made some lasting memories.. I was 6 months pregnant when i bought my first house (it cost me £32,000) and again was a project...by the time my son was 9 months old I was a single mother I later married and had a second son and this relationship including our marriage lasted 3 1/2 years so again was on my own with 2 children, babies are definitely the most expensive time of your life, apart from all of the paraphernalia they need, you have time off work and suddenly you have managed on 2 incomes you are down to 1 income and that is when the problems start... during my short marriage we both worked full time but just struggled to juggle our debts and two lots of childcare. Following my costly divorce, I then decided to become self employed again another last minute decision, no planning and certainly no money. I borrowed a little bit from the bank and then needed more and more and more... Being an Estate Agent, it was detrimental to my business to then find the world credit crunch, housing crisis and recession beginning in 2008. My mantra when i began in 2004 was "failure is not an option" and Im pleased to say I haven't , I diversified, I took more risks to keep my business together and made sure everyone has been paid. I can tell you I have had lots of sleepless nights, lots of anxiety and stress to hold it all together at times, Iv still had 2 children to raise and they dont get cheaper as they get older. At no point in the last 10 years, have I ever said to my children I cant afford it, they have not done without anything (apart from holidays) they have eaten the best food, lived in nice houses, had all their gadgets, latest phones,designer clothes, shoes, trainers, bikes, computers, eaten in very nice restaurants, had a few holidays but not as many as i would have liked.(and I might add ooodles of FREE love) They have no idea the stress at time Iv endured making sure that happened. We certainly dont appear to the outside world that I worry constantly about money or have any money worries, but believe me I do just like everyone else and my worries are on a larger scale, yes I have a larger income than most, but my outgoings are equally larger than most. Iv had tax and VAT investigations and found to have owed money to them and that is pretty scary. At one point my personal and business debts exceeded £100,000 and that doesn't include my mortgages. After 20 years of being on the back foot, juggling money and being in debt and having constant worries, enough is definitely enough. Again part of the process is to "wind down" my current business which inevitably means my income will slowly decrease, so with it my outgoings need to decrease and as with everything else Iv ever done, i don't do anything slowly or by halves. I made a spreadsheet of all of outgoings and income and looked at where income could be increased and outgoings can be decreased, its not rocket science really, it just takes some time and determination to make the changes. I didnt want to use my savings to pay off debts as that is for next years project, so the challenge was, pay off ALL DEBT by Chistams 2013 both business and personal, continue to put money into my savings and also to continue with jobs needed in my own house as well as obviously live week to week. Anything that was a luxury needed to go, so Health club membership was cancelled, my beloved car (BMW X5) was sold & the money put in my "house fund" replaced with a cheap run around which is all I really need anyway. No more £200+ a month on facials, pedicures, spray tans, waxing. I bought a home wax kit, bought a great spray tan for £1.99 which lasts for ages, do my own hair when possible but get my mobile friend to cut it, but instead of paying her she looks through my things I want to sell and takes the equivalent in items. I cut down on meals out and long lunches, I cut out alcohol (most of the time) which saved a fortune. My weekly budget became very adequate and I shop for my essentials at Waitrose spending around £50-70 per week and my meat from the local farm shop spending about £50-60 per week there. So we eat very well but there is no waste and I stick to a budget. I shopped around with my utilities, gas & electric, phone & broadband, cut expensive SKY packages, changed our mobile packages. Then for tackling the credit, looking at the ones I pay the highest interest on first and clearing those, I found once you start your very motivated to see those balances decrease. I spent the summer holidays "de cluttering my house" and other peoples, I raised £2,500 from all my sales, which helped hugely. This continued at a rate of knots and Iv cleared about £12,000 of debt since late spring, closed credit accounts and bank accounts as Iv gone along that i no longer use which no doubt will reflect on my credit rating better, which again will be useful for next year if we needed a mortgage, although we are aiming not to need one. My friends and family have been supportive because Iv told those close to me what Im doing and why, so we havnt gone out much this year, opting instead to stay at home and cook, much cheaper, luckily we had a great summer, I bought a huge 15ft swimming pool for £200 at the beginning of the summer, we had weeks of great sun and fun in it and sold it for £250 , thus having a "free" holiday and lots of great times. Christmas is cancelled this year, thats always been a contentious subject to me, having a faith, means I think of Christmas in an entirely different way to most people, dont get me wrong, Iv spent small fortunes on Christmas myself (mainly my children) usually things they do need and use. I have slowly withdrawn from the typical Christmas traditions, Iv not done cards now for a few years, I cut out friends presents a few years ago and my in laws last year, this year Im only buying my children (well they want money) and they are having a set amount and no more, no stockings, no extras, my neice and nephew have had a smaller set amount and no extras either, thats it, everyone else has been cut out, we may have a small tree, but no fancy extras, we are having lunch at my grandparents so again cuts a lot of cost. We will have our boxing day buffet as usual but Im sure I can make that fit the budget. I buy my children things they need all year and often for my neice and nephew so wont be pressured into spending more money for 1 day that actually isnt anything to do with spending money. I will be taking some xmas boxes to the local food bank charity, I would like to help those less fortunate than me, even in my current financially leaner position, I still know Im very fortunate as do my children. That is what xmas is about for me. I have £1,000 left of debt which will be paid before my Xmas target. I feel quite a sense of achievement, Iv often felt like I wish I could press the fast forward button to the new year as I know it will be a lot better for me financially, but sadly you have to go through the motions and rome wasn't built in a day. Now I can see the light at the end of the tunnel and feel very proud that Im finally going to be free of the shackles of credit, will be able to save more from the money saved on month - month expenses and start a new venture with my son in something that will give me freedom, satisfaction and happiness. RELATIONSHIPS Ever heard the saying " Friends are for a reason, season or a lifetime" Well its true in my case & Im sure in yours. Iv got my " handful" of best friends that Iv had for 20 years or so and that I can really rely on, they know me & my neediness and my mood swings and just love me the way I am I guess,although you would have to ask them that.. Iv certainly had a de clutter on relationships this year, starting with my now ex in January, this was the most traumatic and significant change, its taken several months of "healing my wounds" & to say Im finally glad that one is over and again can start afresh next year baggage free. Iv also had a good old Facebook clear out, I had friends on there from school (no idea why I never liked them then) and more recently Iv decided to walk away from a few friendships for different reasons, but the root of most of them is their drinking problem and their poor parenting as a result, something that is intolerable to me now after having suffered at the hands of alcoholics for most of my life. I have learnt a lot from the last few years and as Iv grown older, wiser (and grumpier) Im confident enough to say, Im sorry your a negative in my life and your not needed. Goodbye. Its quite a revelation for me who seems to attract saps and needy individuals. Iv certainly had a difficult 39 years for numerous reasons. My forties is going to be completely different and I cant wait for it to happen. Im very confident spending this year adhering to my strict plan and making the sacrifices I have, will enable me to have a more secure future for me, my boys and my old age.

Clutter

My friends and family think I have OCD in the cleaning department, I actually don't, I just love a neat, clean and clutter free environment. I always feel less stressed when i know my house is presented in a way that makes me feel comfortable, which is always expect that unexpected visitor, I do have a small bleach obsession and have a morning ritual of cleaning all the toilets , cleaning my kitchen (morning and night) I cant start my day until i know everything is as it should be. I am constantly de cluttering and again people wonder how I have got anything left to de clutter, well the answer is I have a shopping addiction, I bore easily and am forever buying new things for my home and so its always a case of out with the old and in with the new. I have a fabulous local selling site (similar to ebay) but no fees and people are local so collect things the same day. They will pretty much buy anything... So this week having a quieter week and a bit of sun, I began the shed tidy up, each time I do this I am more and more ruthless and If I haven't used anything since the last de clutter, out it goes..I must be the only person i know that has two huge lofts both of which are empty, a garage that has been converted into a living room so no clutter there, endless amounts of cupboards (having raided IKEA) that are mostly empty, 3 kitchen units (yes i kid you not) I have a range oven, a dishwasher and there is only room for 3 cupboards (no wall units) and they are filled but there is always room to sort them out (in fact as im writing this, that will be my next task today) I have a huge shed, which is now empty apart from the lawn mower. But it will nicely house my garden furniture come Autumn. Deep deep down Im sure Im a closet messy individual, so sometimes my car is the place that is my messy place, however I seem to have stopped that now too and am cleaning and hoovering it, Iv even bought an in car bin as Im fed up of throwing my Mcd Latte cup on the floor until I can be bothered to have a clean up.. so the last thing that often gets a little cluttered is my Handbag! Come on ladies we all do it, well mine is a large one (I say it like I only have 1 handbag, I have .. well lets say more than 1) Mine was overflowing this morning so I have just given it an Emma de clutter.... what do you have in yours?? This is what I had in mine? 1. Sunglasses (neatly in there case of course given how much they cost) 2. Driving Glasses (again in there case and for the same reason) 3. Purse, overflowing with coppers and receipts (now neatly put in my accounts folder) 4. Lots of keys for my houses (neatly now in my key safe, where they should be) 5. lots of packets of mints, most of which had found there way to the bottom of my bag 6. make up bag which is heavy and Im not the kind of girl that obsesses about touching up make up in fact i rarely wear it, so that has been banished to my bathroom. 7. Tablets... painkillers, hay-fever tablets, hay-fever nose spray 8. tissues & baby wipes (now now... I always have my toddler niece & nephew) 9. Bum bag - no idea why that was in there, but useful none the less for my weekend beach trip with toddlers as now i don't need to take my hand bag!! 10. pictures off my niece 11. bottle of water (yes Im trying) 12. unopened post from my other house which I was kindly given yesterday and I think she saved up about 3 months worth, now opened and dealt with!! 13. CD disk to remind me to give to my friend who is having my printer! 14. elastic band....mmm no idea but im sure useful. 15. Hair bands & clips 16. 10 biro's (now in my pen pot on my desk) 17. Anti bac gel (again toddlers) 18. If this had been written yesterday it would have also included a little book which my friend kindly lent me which I have had for months I finally dropped it off to her yesterday Off to do those pesky kitchen cupboards now... have a good day peeps

Clutter

My friends and family think I have OCD in the cleaning department, I actually don't, I just love a neat, clean and clutter free environment. I always feel less stressed when i know my house is presented in a way that makes me feel comfortable, which is always expect that unexpected visitor, I do have a small bleach obsession and have a morning ritual of cleaning all the toilets , cleaning my kitchen (morning and night) I cant start my day until i know everything is as it should be. I am constantly de cluttering and again people wonder how I have got anything left to de clutter, well the answer is I have a shopping addiction, I bore easily and am forever buying new things for my home and so its always a case of out with the old and in with the new. I have a fabulous local selling site (similar to ebay) but no fees and people are local so collect things the same day. They will pretty much buy anything... So this week having a quieter week and a bit of sun, I began the shed tidy up, each time I do this I am more and more ruthless and If I haven't used anything since the last de clutter, out it goes..I must be the only person i know that has two huge lofts both of which are empty, a garage that has been converted into a living room so no clutter there, endless amounts of cupboards (having raided IKEA) that are mostly empty, 3 kitchen units (yes i kid you not) I have a range oven, a dishwasher and there is only room for 3 cupboards (no wall units) and they are filled but there is always room to sort them out (in fact as im writing this, that will be my next task today) I have a huge shed, which is now empty apart from the lawn mower. But it will nicely house my garden furniture come Autumn. Deep deep down Im sure Im a closet messy individual, so sometimes my car is the place that is my messy place, however I seem to have stopped that now too and am cleaning and hoovering it, Iv even bought an in car bin as Im fed up of throwing my Mcd Latte cup on the floor until I can be bothered to have a clean up.. so the last thing that often gets a little cluttered is my Handbag! Come on ladies we all do it, well mine is a large one (I say it like I only have 1 handbag, I have .. well lets say more than 1) Mine was overflowing this morning so I have just given it an Emma de clutter.... what do you have in yours?? This is what I had in mine? 1. Sunglasses (neatly in there case of course given how much they cost) 2. Driving Glasses (again in there case and for the same reason) 3. Purse, overflowing with coppers and receipts (now neatly put in my accounts folder) 4. Lots of keys for my houses (neatly now in my key safe, where they should be) 5. lots of packets of mints, most of which had found there way to the bottom of my bag 6. make up bag which is heavy and Im not the kind of girl that obsesses about touching up make up in fact i rarely wear it, so that has been banished to my bathroom. 7. Tablets... painkillers, hay-fever tablets, hay-fever nose spray 8. tissues & baby wipes (now now... I always have my toddler niece & nephew) 9. Bum bag - no idea why that was in there, but useful none the less for my weekend beach trip with toddlers as now i don't need to take my hand bag!! 10. pictures off my niece 11. bottle of water (yes Im trying) 12. unopened post from my other house which I was kindly given yesterday and I think she saved up about 3 months worth, now opened and dealt with!! 13. CD disk to remind me to give to my friend who is having my printer! 14. elastic band....mmm no idea but im sure useful. 15. Hair bands & clips 16. 10 biro's (now in my pen pot on my desk) 17. Anti bac gel (again toddlers) 18. If this had been written yesterday it would have also included a little book which my friend kindly lent me which I have had for months I finally dropped it off to her yesterday Off to do those pesky kitchen cupboards now... have a good day peeps

Mid Life Crisis Challenge 2

Flying off into the sunset: One thing Iv never done or fancied doing is flying on a plane without any company, Iv been on many planes, but always with another adult even if iv taken my children abroad. I'm finding now that is restricting me in my voyage to travel more... Iv got so many of my close friends who live abroad and whilst thank goodness for Facebook and Skype meaning I can stay in touch with them, its not the same as actually seeing them and of course its another place to visit. So I decided a few weeks ago, its going on my challenge list to take the plunge and get on that plane... Iv just met with my Godmother today (AKA auntie Karen) she was also my late mothers best friend. Iv kept in touch with her over the years but only really exchanging Christmas cards and that was when we lived in the same Town. Again thanks to Facebook I was able to track her children down and discover that she is now in France, so emails were exchanged and a good catch up was had over a period of time and she has just visited over here as her second grandson has just arrived, we went for lunch and it was like I saw her yesterday, just non stop gabbing and I told her about my plan to eventually live in France myself and wish I could now really, but its not the right time. So I'm allowed to visit anytime and I absolutely will because I have a feeling that as well as really wanting a break from the UK and would love to spend a lot more time catching up, it could be a life changing trip. Her cottage and lifestyle sound idyllic and affordable for me right now, even if I bought a house and locked it up most of the time.. it could be a start to my life in France forever & apparently there is a shortage of English Estate Agents.... watch this space :)

Mid Life Crisis Challenge 1

I watched a report this morning on Bone Marrow donors on BBC breakfast, which really made me well up & I decided that was going to be challenge number 1, Im terrified of needles and have really weird veins making it traumatic and painful for me to even have a simple blood test, but the short burst of pain is nothing compared to the pain a parent is enduring watching their sick child in pain or dieing and In need of blood or bone marrow.. I have just registered also to donate organs after I die, but this is something I can do now and maybe help save a life. After just going through a painful and emotional hospital visit with my 13 year old son, having an MRI scan to see if he had a brain tumour, this was I think to date the worst day of my life, sat there in the consultants waiting room waiting to hear those words that would change my life forever, either way, if it was bad news it would have been the worst news and if it was good it was sure as hell going to make me evaluate my life and that of my family and not take it for granted any more and enjoy the time we have together, after all we are all dieing, we don't know when its going to happen and how that's all. So I have contacted the relevant people today & IM booked in for giving blood and to be tested for a match for the Bone Marrow register on Wednesday...

Mid Life Crisis Challenge

Iv been feeling a little out of sorts lately which is what has inspired this challenge. Iv had a few hospital & doctor visits which still haven't diagnosed my issue, I've had a lot of stress in my business and come close to throwing in the towel a few times, I'm tired from running a business and working an extra job too (see living on a budget)I'm conscious my son isn't happy at school right now and trying to motivate him ready for his important year ahead in September when it will be GCSE time, the same son has also had some hospital visits and at one point we thought he may have a brain tumour which thankfully he doesn't. Then dealing with emotions following my relationship break up, juggling finances to keep within my strict budget, feeling a bit fed up that I cant justify the expense of a holiday despite us all probably benefiting from one, realising that despite being happy that my relationship ending & it has made me happy, happy for me usually means too much socialising, eating, drinking and being merry, which means muffin top increasing more that I would like & id felt amazing loosing 3 stone recently ( a stone and a bit now back on) just generally demotivated and fed up in all areas and the biggest thing on my mind is the big 40..... Its another 18 months before I'm 40, but its getting closer and closer and closer.... I sat watching Coronation Street a few weeks ago and suddenly thought to myself... Is this it? Is this what my life has become? I'm unhappy in my body, I'm unhappy in my job, I spend far too much time alone in front of the TV, I have far too much boring routine, I spend far too much time in the pub with friends that have a drinking issue and really aren't friends more drinking buddies, I eat far too much rubbish that I don't realise I'm eating when I'm bored.. Frustrated that I'm keen to see the world and feel trapped by my business, money, schooling, mortgages etc etc ... so after much discussions with myself... I have decided its all going to change, I don't need to wait for old age or to meet a man before I can start enjoying my life, I can do it now. I also am now going to completely change my perception of the rest of my life, instead of looking at being 40 as a negative thing, I'm going to embrace my 40's, draw a line under the last 40 years which has been full of tragedy, negative people, bad relationships, divorce, money troubles & a childhood id rather forget & have a happy ever after that I can control and I can make happen.. So the challenge is changing my life, doing things I would never think of doing in my pre mid life crisis, a complete life makeover. To follow will be each of my challenges that I set myself or friends & family set. I will blog about it and put photos on where possible, Its going to include every area of my life and by the time I reach that birthday I will be a brand new Emma with a much happier, positive outlook on my life.

Budget Challenge

As a family we have recently decided to live 2013 on a budget.... It has been a natural transition really and as a result hasnt proved to be too difficult (so far) This might sound a little strange but it all started last summer when I bought my American fridge/freezer. Having had a fridge/freezer forever I have actually never used it. I used to have ice & ice cream in it, when I had occasionally put some chicken or mince in, by the time i remembered i had got it, it didnt look to appetising and i forever gave all my frozen food away to friends, much to their amazement. The arrival of my double capacity fridge freezer with all singing & dancing ice maker, chilled filtered water maker was just amazing and it had shelves so i could see exactly what was in it at amy one time, so i excitedly did a big freezer shop, this included onions, chilli, garlic, ginger, herbs, vegetables, fruit.... it was amazing, all the time i had thrown out out of date onions and garlic as they never all got used before they expired. Herbs that were half wilted when you bought them and completley wilted by the time you got them home. Vegetables rotting at ther back of the fridge .... such a waste of food but more importantly... money, my hard earned money that is.. So... It really made us more aware of what we were eating and what we werent... As a result our recycling increased and our black waste bin is now only half full when the bin men arrive, whereas before all bins had extra bags with them as we clearly wasted far too much... It makes me feel pretty annoyed with myself really that something so simple had such a life changing effect on how we lived and have continued to build on from there. If we have leftover food (which you often do when cooking for 3) I bought plastic freezer tubs and we now freeze it and use it another time or I give it to my ex who works away all week and he happily takes it... Whereas before.. you guessed it, straight in the bin... This became a great foundation to build on and I have looked at everything in our lives that we waste,we no longer require,could cut back on or live without... 2013 is still a year where everyone is struggling financially, mortgage rates are low, which means they are only going to go up, food is one of the most expensive things I spent money on to be honest, opting for lazy things which often meant expensive, i shop in M&S & waitrose and thats realoly because they are both nearest to my house, the snob factor comes into it slightly but not because they happen to be the two most expensive places to shop, but because Im too much of a snob to venture into Crewe to Tesco/Morrisons I do not like mixing with the buggy benefit brigades... I spent some time going through all of our household and my business expenses, getting rid of things that were unecessary, renegotiating packages i was already on and still felt I needed, such as SKY, mobile phone contracts and such.. I spent the last couple of months in 2012 completing my house renovation knowing that my 2013 plan was going to be about saving & not spending, which means I can focus purely on that now. We decided that me & supermarkets are not a great combination, we are all guilty of piling stuff into our trolleys that we didnt go in for, because it looks nice, or was on offer, my food shoppping bill was at times £200-300 per week, which now seems incredibly indulgent, I could afford it, but it wasnt necessary, although it was at this level when there were 4 of us not 3 and i also used to do a "truck shop" for my ex boyfriend who needed food for the week in his lorry. Now there are just 3 of us, it has become easier to manage and in addition I now no longer drink & of course with my ex no longer here thats 2 of us not drinking which on its own reduced my supermarket expenditure by a huge amount. I now only do On -Line food shopping, which my eldest son manages, he has taken over the role of head chef & cleaner.. He plans the meals for the week carefully, shops according to his menu, bulk buys when things we need and use are on a good offer,includes a few treats and we now spend between £75-100 a week. which is a huge saving. It has given him some idea of how to run a household and how to live for less, its a fantastic learning tool for his future when he leaves home. Iv made some personal sacrifices, smaller ones (but they all count) for expample I also spent about £300 a month on beauty , i.e tans, hair, eyelash extensions, nails, pedicures, facials etc etc , so now i do as much as i can myself saving me a fortune and go without anything I can live without, Iv also sold my beloved car, my BMW X5, I loved my car so much, but I needed to sell it at some point as to do our house project would mean we need a workhorse type car or even a van not a swanky BMW and if i had waited another year to sell it I would have lost so much more money, so the decision was made, thank fully it happened so quickly it was relativley painless selling it in 24 hours. As well as running my own lettings agency from home, I have now become a self employed courier, something no one thought i would stick to or enjoy, well I have and I do... and will continue to take any jobs that come my way, I no longer have the arrogant attitude i used to which is I wouldnt get out of bed for less than £200 a day, I didnt need to when I said that, but now I will happily clean someones toilet for the minimum wage, as all those £££'s are my stepping stone to get me what I want next year.. The main reason behind all of this change apart from it was clearly much needed, is that I am embarking on a new challenge, well, we are as a family. Next year my son & I are going to start buying some houses at auction to develop and re sell and hopefully make this a profitable (but enjoyable) business. Josh gets a sizeable inheritance from his fathers estate next year and this has been a plan of ours for a while, its going to be a joint venture and so one we intend to start off as we mean to go on, I intend to match each pound he puts in with a pound of my own, which is why I need to do some hard saving for the next 18 months to achieve this as we dont want a mortgage, so we need some serious cash behind us. I also want to show my son that Im not taking advantage of the fact he is about to be given a shed load of money that he hasnt earnt (although he has lost his dad to get the money) and that I am committed to our project, take it seriously and will treat it as a profitable business venture as I have previously with my Estate Agency business. Im pretty knackered working 6 days a week, but I am a hard worker and highly motivated when I want something, I always go out there and make it happen... This will be no different, I have every faith that Josh & I will have an empire of properties and who knows what other opportunities will come our way.... I live by a plan and feel very insecure when I dont have one, so whilst Im busy, shattered and poor... Im very fortunate that Im not actually poor and others are living on a budget because they have to & not because they are choosing to ... But I also believe you get out of life what you put in, there are no excuses for people to live off the state, there are no excuses not to work when you have children, there are just no excuses not to want to live and have a better quality of life for yourself and your family, its something im equaly passionate about... If I can do it running a business and bringing up two boys entirely on my own, then anyone can..... Go and do it.