Getting Organised

We have enjoyed a fantastic summer this year which was a great start to motivate me to start my "mid life crisis challenge" I felt most areas of my life needed a good overhaul,like most parents, especially us single ones, you can often feel like your just spinning plates to get by each day and you forget about enjoying the time you have with your family & friends, because your constantly processing information,Did I pay that bill? Did I sign Tommy's planner? Did I sign the school trip letter? are the PE kits washed? what is for dinner tonight? remember to call the garage and book the car in for an MOT...you know the deal, we all have it & that is in addition to an 8 hour working day. I felt like all of that had been my life for the last 17 years of being a parent and given i only have one child now to be responsible for day - day it was time I got a grip (a real hard strangling grip) and get more organised. As well as my "mid life crisis" being the motivation behind all these changes, Im also about to embark on a new challenge with my business. Towards the end of 2014/beginning of 2015 (and just in time for my 40th) I am starting a new business with my eldest son buying & renovating/developing properties. This has been our plan for a number of years and i guess its getting closer now and its time I put a plan into action. It coincides perfectly with my "new beginnings attitude for my 40's" and I want to literally clear the decks and get rid of ALL unnecessary "dead wood" that I am currently carrying and go into my forties and my new business with a lot less to think and worry about. HOME LIFE I started with my home life, getting more organised with my youngest son and his schooling, small things like making sure his planner is signed , making sure his lunch money account has money on it on a sunday night, to avoid the usual monday lunch time call of "Mum, I have no money on my lunch account" and im usually not at home and in the middle of the supermarket frantically entering card details on my tiny screen on my IPhone making sure he can eat. I also wanted to have a better routine of cleaning & household chores & actually making time in my diary for it (this satisfies my OCD) . I have been renovating my house for the last 3 years and have a few bits and pieces to get finished, again this needed to be completed before our new business starts and so needed to be made more of a priority and planned out rather than "il do it one day "job. The biggest and last major job to be done was the replacement widows and doors, they are 20 years old now and wooden frames, so high maintenance, ugly, not very heat efficient, a lot of the sealed units have "blown" now and it was becoming a much needed job to do and is part of my cutting energy bills strategy as they are equally astronomical, so rather than use money from my savings pot I'm using surplus monthly money from my budget so its been a slower process, I started with the two worst doors, which were draughty and rotten, my patio doors in my kitchen and the old garage door in my new second lounge, these were immediately warmer and looked the part so that in itself motivated me to carry on, Iv now ordered all but 1 window (leaving the largest bay window for next time) to be fitted in January (taking advantage of a discount for january)Now the heating is on I can already feel the benefits of the two changed, & already have the heating on much less that last year so I think the cost of installing them will come back in the reduction of my energy bills. The last part of the installation will be front & back doors and my large bay window which is scheduled for April. Finally the house will be up to standard and complete. Food was also a big issue, never planning food properly and having waste (one of my big bug bears) spending too much because I became a "lazy " shopper having too much ready made things, for example veg (pre chopped/peeled) etc,ready prepared mash, just wasteful & expensive but has become a lazy habit. I have now developed a regular routine for my supermarket delivery, I do it on a tuesday for delivery each friday, I pre plan meals for the week, I keep a good stocked pantry cupboard of essentials, I spot the deals and get extra things when on offer (but only things i need and use) i have already got into better habits of using my freezer and planning ahead is essential for that.I have no waste, Iv decreased my weekly spend by 50% by doing this. I dont have traffic, queues,trolley bashing and a nice young man brings it straight to my kitchen, perfect! FINANCES This was the biggest challenge and took a lot of thought and planning to completely re train my brain (& my children's). I was forced to leave home at 16 just after leaving school and I only had a part time shop job which I had done whilst at school, I moved to a "grotty" bedsit in an undesirable part of Crewe, my rent was £36 per week and my wages were £32, so i was already in debt before I started. However I quickly increased my hours and made that my permanent job for the short term, my boyfriends mum did my washing each week (which was amusing watching my boyfriend with my washing bag up his jacket each week and riding home on his bike to his mum) I visited both my boyfriends family and mine regularly to get fed, this lasted a few weeks and I soon told myself this is it, Iv got my freedom & my independence and should make the most of it. I very quickly, wanted my "bedsit" to be home (given it was), so I decorated it and bought some new bedding, I had some furniture given to me by family and I was very happy there for over a year, I then had the opportunity to move downstairs into a proper flat, I did the same there but thats where my problem began of wanting to live in a comfortable and nice environment and wanting it now, but couldn't afford it all in one go, I didn't go mad, again I had hand me down furniture where possible, I did buy a new three piece suite (in pink velour) from the catalogue (i know) any debt i had and of course it was debt as It was credit, was all manageable and affordable, although it never occurred to me what if i lost my job or was ill and couldn't afford to make the payments any more.... I bought my first house at 20 which was a large 3 bed semi, it felt like a mansion after my flats, but I had spent 4 happy years over there with my friends and had the best times and made some lasting memories.. I was 6 months pregnant when i bought my first house (it cost me £32,000) and again was a project...by the time my son was 9 months old I was a single mother I later married and had a second son and this relationship including our marriage lasted 3 1/2 years so again was on my own with 2 children, babies are definitely the most expensive time of your life, apart from all of the paraphernalia they need, you have time off work and suddenly you have managed on 2 incomes you are down to 1 income and that is when the problems start... during my short marriage we both worked full time but just struggled to juggle our debts and two lots of childcare. Following my costly divorce, I then decided to become self employed again another last minute decision, no planning and certainly no money. I borrowed a little bit from the bank and then needed more and more and more... Being an Estate Agent, it was detrimental to my business to then find the world credit crunch, housing crisis and recession beginning in 2008. My mantra when i began in 2004 was "failure is not an option" and Im pleased to say I haven't , I diversified, I took more risks to keep my business together and made sure everyone has been paid. I can tell you I have had lots of sleepless nights, lots of anxiety and stress to hold it all together at times, Iv still had 2 children to raise and they dont get cheaper as they get older. At no point in the last 10 years, have I ever said to my children I cant afford it, they have not done without anything (apart from holidays) they have eaten the best food, lived in nice houses, had all their gadgets, latest phones,designer clothes, shoes, trainers, bikes, computers, eaten in very nice restaurants, had a few holidays but not as many as i would have liked.(and I might add ooodles of FREE love) They have no idea the stress at time Iv endured making sure that happened. We certainly dont appear to the outside world that I worry constantly about money or have any money worries, but believe me I do just like everyone else and my worries are on a larger scale, yes I have a larger income than most, but my outgoings are equally larger than most. Iv had tax and VAT investigations and found to have owed money to them and that is pretty scary. At one point my personal and business debts exceeded £100,000 and that doesn't include my mortgages. After 20 years of being on the back foot, juggling money and being in debt and having constant worries, enough is definitely enough. Again part of the process is to "wind down" my current business which inevitably means my income will slowly decrease, so with it my outgoings need to decrease and as with everything else Iv ever done, i don't do anything slowly or by halves. I made a spreadsheet of all of outgoings and income and looked at where income could be increased and outgoings can be decreased, its not rocket science really, it just takes some time and determination to make the changes. I didnt want to use my savings to pay off debts as that is for next years project, so the challenge was, pay off ALL DEBT by Chistams 2013 both business and personal, continue to put money into my savings and also to continue with jobs needed in my own house as well as obviously live week to week. Anything that was a luxury needed to go, so Health club membership was cancelled, my beloved car (BMW X5) was sold & the money put in my "house fund" replaced with a cheap run around which is all I really need anyway. No more £200+ a month on facials, pedicures, spray tans, waxing. I bought a home wax kit, bought a great spray tan for £1.99 which lasts for ages, do my own hair when possible but get my mobile friend to cut it, but instead of paying her she looks through my things I want to sell and takes the equivalent in items. I cut down on meals out and long lunches, I cut out alcohol (most of the time) which saved a fortune. My weekly budget became very adequate and I shop for my essentials at Waitrose spending around £50-70 per week and my meat from the local farm shop spending about £50-60 per week there. So we eat very well but there is no waste and I stick to a budget. I shopped around with my utilities, gas & electric, phone & broadband, cut expensive SKY packages, changed our mobile packages. Then for tackling the credit, looking at the ones I pay the highest interest on first and clearing those, I found once you start your very motivated to see those balances decrease. I spent the summer holidays "de cluttering my house" and other peoples, I raised £2,500 from all my sales, which helped hugely. This continued at a rate of knots and Iv cleared about £12,000 of debt since late spring, closed credit accounts and bank accounts as Iv gone along that i no longer use which no doubt will reflect on my credit rating better, which again will be useful for next year if we needed a mortgage, although we are aiming not to need one. My friends and family have been supportive because Iv told those close to me what Im doing and why, so we havnt gone out much this year, opting instead to stay at home and cook, much cheaper, luckily we had a great summer, I bought a huge 15ft swimming pool for £200 at the beginning of the summer, we had weeks of great sun and fun in it and sold it for £250 , thus having a "free" holiday and lots of great times. Christmas is cancelled this year, thats always been a contentious subject to me, having a faith, means I think of Christmas in an entirely different way to most people, dont get me wrong, Iv spent small fortunes on Christmas myself (mainly my children) usually things they do need and use. I have slowly withdrawn from the typical Christmas traditions, Iv not done cards now for a few years, I cut out friends presents a few years ago and my in laws last year, this year Im only buying my children (well they want money) and they are having a set amount and no more, no stockings, no extras, my neice and nephew have had a smaller set amount and no extras either, thats it, everyone else has been cut out, we may have a small tree, but no fancy extras, we are having lunch at my grandparents so again cuts a lot of cost. We will have our boxing day buffet as usual but Im sure I can make that fit the budget. I buy my children things they need all year and often for my neice and nephew so wont be pressured into spending more money for 1 day that actually isnt anything to do with spending money. I will be taking some xmas boxes to the local food bank charity, I would like to help those less fortunate than me, even in my current financially leaner position, I still know Im very fortunate as do my children. That is what xmas is about for me. I have £1,000 left of debt which will be paid before my Xmas target. I feel quite a sense of achievement, Iv often felt like I wish I could press the fast forward button to the new year as I know it will be a lot better for me financially, but sadly you have to go through the motions and rome wasn't built in a day. Now I can see the light at the end of the tunnel and feel very proud that Im finally going to be free of the shackles of credit, will be able to save more from the money saved on month - month expenses and start a new venture with my son in something that will give me freedom, satisfaction and happiness. RELATIONSHIPS Ever heard the saying " Friends are for a reason, season or a lifetime" Well its true in my case & Im sure in yours. Iv got my " handful" of best friends that Iv had for 20 years or so and that I can really rely on, they know me & my neediness and my mood swings and just love me the way I am I guess,although you would have to ask them that.. Iv certainly had a de clutter on relationships this year, starting with my now ex in January, this was the most traumatic and significant change, its taken several months of "healing my wounds" & to say Im finally glad that one is over and again can start afresh next year baggage free. Iv also had a good old Facebook clear out, I had friends on there from school (no idea why I never liked them then) and more recently Iv decided to walk away from a few friendships for different reasons, but the root of most of them is their drinking problem and their poor parenting as a result, something that is intolerable to me now after having suffered at the hands of alcoholics for most of my life. I have learnt a lot from the last few years and as Iv grown older, wiser (and grumpier) Im confident enough to say, Im sorry your a negative in my life and your not needed. Goodbye. Its quite a revelation for me who seems to attract saps and needy individuals. Iv certainly had a difficult 39 years for numerous reasons. My forties is going to be completely different and I cant wait for it to happen. Im very confident spending this year adhering to my strict plan and making the sacrifices I have, will enable me to have a more secure future for me, my boys and my old age.