Day25 of the 30 Day Challenge

A picture of your favourite day:
The day I came back home, to a village where I grew up with both of my parents and my two younger sisters. This is also where i started out and ended married life. Don't get me wrong along the way there were good and bad times here, but its a place that is close to my heart, where I feel safe, loved and at home. I have a lot of friends that haven't moved away since we were at primary school and some that I have known more recently that have moved here too. Its a growing village and there are less fields to play on now than when i was young. I enjoy taking my niece for walks, where I used to walk run and play as a young child. I am still finding old haunts and new ones. Its the happiest I have been in years living here, my boys are too (although they took a while admitting it) My mum and younger sister sadly aren't here any more, but they are buried together in the village church, somewhere I also feel very at peace at, when visiting. Everyone is so friendly here, I feel as safe as I can letting my boys out with their friends, we all have a better quality of life here and am enjoying the challenge of renovating the house.

Day 24 of the 30 day challenge

Something you wish you could change:
My car... i like it don't get me wrong, I'm bored of it now and do have a bigger love for bigger cars, having had a Mercedes Ml & a BMW X5, i want another one. The low cars look more sporty i suppose.

Winter is fast approaching and they are useful for those icy snowy conditions that seem to last forever these days.

They are good for ploughing into the traffic, drivers in smaller cars are more aware of your presence on the road.

Sensible head says I would be better to wait until after Christmas before changing the car,I have purchased a 5 bed house this year and all of the costs associated with that have been a wrench, i have spent quite a bit of money renovating my own house and throughout the year my other houses have put a bit of a strain on me at times. Business is good this year, but with the economy and housing market still unstable I have decided not to go and buy the brand new Q7 i have my eye on.

I still have a way to go with my house and have dedicated the remainder of the year to getting as many jobs finished as I can, its been a real labour of love this last 12 months, but it looks good for it.

New year, new car and some new challenges...

Day 23 of the 30 day challenge

A picture of your favourite book...
My favourite "books" have to be my childhood ones,my favourite childhood author, Enid Blyton. I loved the Secret7, all the mischief they got up to, the club that they started, the lemonade in the shed. I emulated it as a child and had our own secret society with a 2p entrance fee, we had lemonade and biscuits , we turned our old disused garage into our den. We used to collect jumble from neighbours and sell it on a jumble sale (given we had no car boot) we used to bake cakes and sell them, all profits went into our club and we would buy fun things to do or day trips out. The good old days!!

Day 22 of the 30 day challenge

A picture of something you wish you were better at:
As a mother flying solo with two boys, a business, friends, family, a few houses of my own to look after and maintain, a journalism course to complete, new work challenges, gym, the usual housekeeping and accounting to juggle. I actually wish i was better at all of the above.

I do try to get up earlier to cram as much into the early morning as i can and i try hard to give 100% to each bit of my day, but I am sure i fail miserably...

I am a woman and as such have faced the fact that I will never be happy or satisfied with my achievments. I am always looking for my next challenge.

Day 20 of the 30 day challenge

A picture of somewhere you would love to travel:
The world is the answer to that, having my children young was planned, i was never into travelling as a youngster, with two babies at 25, i didint have the money either. In the last year or so, i have been thinking about the next phase in my life, my boys are growing up fast and will be leaving the nest before i know it. I then want to see the world, i want to leave my stamp on this planet, i want to do visit the poorer countries and do something to help, i want to challenge myself to do things out of the box. Im realy excited and am looking to trek the great wall of china in May 2012. Im going to New york in December 2012 with my wife for her 50th Birthday. Lets see where this big wide world takes me.

Day 18 of the 30 Day Challenge

A picture of your biggest insecurity

I think i can honestly say i don't have any,I used to have loads. My main one being unloved, always worrying about who i was with if they loved me enough, this is friends included not just men.

But now I love me, I love me enough to walk away from situations that make me unhappy, even if that is someone i really love. If people walk away from me, then i know that's also for a reason too.

I am financially more secure than I have ever been (Im not wealthy by any stretch of the imagination)I still juggle it about as much as anyone else, admittedly on a bigger scale than most, but i still feel the pinch, but i know i can always work around it and make it work.

I am very content in my life with my friends and boys around me. I love spending time with all of them.

I am genuinely looking forward to my future, the boys wont need me for much longer and the new phase of my life will begin, this will include travelling and seeing the world. Now i have my boo to share it with too.

Despite it being early days for us, I'm very confident that this is for keeps and failing is not an option, I have learnt so much from past relationships and wont repeat the same mistakes. we are all human and all f*** up at times, me included, i hope i have learnt from them and can make my second time around the best one yet.

Day 17 of the 30 day challenge

A picture of something that has made a huge impact on your life recently

This one is easy.. my boo
I have finally met my Mr right... it has been a long long time coming. Despite being a serial dater and dated hundreds of men, i have actually only had a "relationship" with 5 men since i was 16. I am actually quite fussy in the men department, despite some of my friends thinking that i fall in love too easily, i actually don't at all. I can get carried away with the moment on occasions, but i do know the difference between it being a lustful moment and meeting someone for keeps. One of the 5 (Richard) was a married man, so Im not even sure i should be counting him, despite leaving his wife and living with me for a short while, it didn't work out and i could cringe now, that i let him treat me like he did. I thought he was the absolute love of my life, he didnt just break my heart he shattered it into thousand of pieces and i didnt think it would ever go back together again.

The last relationship I had (Scott) ended in 2007, we were due to get married that December (not many people know that as my sister was due to have her first baby 2 days before we were getting married) so kept it a bit hush. he lived a 7 hour drive away and it was tough doing the Friday night dash in rush hour every weekend and dragging the boys along for the ride, but we talked often about him moving in with me and getting a new job, i always held back somehow and suggested if he did that he ought to live on his own first, trying to do things slowly and sensibly, but that's not me, if i really know its right i just go for it all guns blazing so i guess i knew this wasn't right really, i wanted it to be , but something was making me hold back from committing to him properly. He absolutely worshiped me, treated me like an absolute princess , which i just wasn't used to and didnt know how to appreciate it or handle it. I was so used to being the one doing the looking after, that i just pushed him away in the end. It could have been the right man , but it was the wrong time for me, i just wasnt ready for the huge commitment with him, so soon after my previous heartbreak and i needed to work on dealing with my emotions from that relationship first before committing to a new one.

Which is what i have done, i have dug deep and learnt a lot about myself in the process.
I learnt to love and respect myself over the last couple of years and making some positive changes , like de cluttering the negative people in my life , moving home, changing the way i live my life, taking away stress etc, has all made me a much happier individual. I was absolutely prepared to be on my own for a long time and was happy with that decision, i have my boys and my friends that more than occupy my time.

That has all changed now, i have met my boo. after fighting him off and telling him i wasn't interested either, he kept persisting and im so glad he did. I knew the minute i met him that he was for keeps. Every day i love him more and more.
Being so independent and used to my own company i never thought i would want to live with anyone again or could live with anyone again with all their annoying bad habits, sharing the remote, not being able to slob around in my PJ's all weekend, i certainly didnt want anyone calling me all day & all night.... BUT I DO NOW
boo came to stay over & he hasnt gone home yet, I love making him a nice dinner for when he comes home, i make him a little lunch to take to work, we speak the minute he goes out of the door and spend as much time as we can calling each other and texting in between, i absolutely cant get enough of him and him me, we both feel exactly the same at the same time, which hasnt happened for me since i was married 14 years ago.

He has absolutely made a huge impact on my life recently !!

Day 16 of the 30 Day Challenge

A picture of someone who inspires you...
My grandparents, given my turbulent childhood they have both been my rocks, they are always a safe set of arms to run to in my hour of need. They have endured some tough times but they are the strongest people i know and never let anything get them down. They have been married for 50 years next year and I hope one day I can experience a lifetime of love that they have had and have given me. They truly are the most amazing people in my world and I thank God that I have been blessed with them.

Day 15 of the 30 day challenge

A picture of something you want to do before you die....
Wow this is something I think about often as life being very short is something sadly I am only to aware of having lost lots of family & friends already.

I cant really narrow it down to just one thing i would like to do, having had my children very young, traveling was never an option, I didnt have the desire and I certainly didnt have the money.

But I have defiantly got the bug for it now, I really want to put my stamp on this planet before i depart and once the boys are independent (I say that rather than leave home as that might be never) Im off..

I really want to continue with the charity work i have done in the past and would love to do some of that overseas. I am following a lady's blog that is doing 40 challenges at 40, she has given me some ideas. I have my eye on doing a charity trek on the great wall of china next may (I think i ought to discuss this with my gym trainer first !!)

A definite plan I have is going to New York December 2012 (assuming the world hasn't ended) this is to celebrate my wife's 50th Birthday and it will be in style!!